The Language of Love!

Think back to when you first began your relationship with your partner. Perhaps it was a time filled with romantic meals out, surprise gifts, flowers and candlelit evenings. Chances are things may look or feel a little different now. As the years pass, you may have found you are, or have been, swept up in day-to-day responsibilities eg, raising children, running a household and fulfilling work commitments. It can sometimes feel like you have little time or even the incentive to make those big romantic gestures but it doesn't mean that you don't both still deeply love and care for each other. And what's more, acts of love may be communicated in different ways, perhaps in small subtle ways.

Everyone gives and receives love in different ways, which can be shown in five love languages — words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch. Recognising and learning each language can help you to recognise your partner's love language and to explore your own too!

The idea of love languages was explored by a therapist named Gary Chapman. His book, The 5 love Languages- The Secret to Love That Lasts, explains that all of us have a love language. You can find out more about this with Day Lewis' latest campaign which helps you to discover your love language as well as that of your partner's, so you can both start to understand each other a little better!

Lets take a look at the 5 different languages:

Words of Affirmation

This is where one tells their partner exactly what they mean to them. They can be expressed verbally or written down. It's important to acknowledge and listen to your partner's words when they express their love and care for you. 

Acts of Service

This is where someone can show they care through actions. These don't have to be huge gestures but can be little things like making a cup of tea for your partner, making them lunch, telling them about a new tv series you know they'd love, anything at all! These little acts can sometimes be missed in the whirlwind of daily life so be sure to take some time to notice and acknowledge any gestures, no matter how little. 

Receiving gifts

Some people like to express love and affection through gifts. Again, these might not necessarily be big value items, it could be a chocolate bar you know they love, for example. It really is the thought that counts here. They are showing you they have thought of you. 

Quality time

It's easy to forget that spending time together is worth prioritising. You may feel that you see them a lot already if you live together, but actually, how much of that time is spent really being together, enjoying each other's company, rather than tackling household chores, attending to the children or spending time on phones? Spending time with your partner is a wonderful way of expressing how much you care for them and again it doesn't have to be a big thing if time is limited. You could enjoy a breakfast together, sit in the garden with a cuppa for 15 mins or watch your favourite tv show together, for example. 

Physical touch

This doesn't have to mean sexual intimacy (although it most certainly can) but it can also be small gestures like holding hands, having a cuddle or sitting together on the sofa. 

Conclusion

It's worth spending a little time thinking about your love language as well as that of your partner's. It may be that you both have different ways of expressing your love and once you understand each other a little better and start to notice the acts from each other, you'll hopefully discover that your relationship has an abundance of love! 

*Collaborative post