Why Mum Guilt Can Just Do One

I vowed to always be honest on this blog so with the risk of perhaps exposing a bit too much of myself, I wanted to share with you the things I’ve felt guilty about today. The things I can remember at least. There’s a point to all this so bear with me. 

Things I’ve felt guilty about today 

• Not getting washed and dressed prior to the boys being awake
• Having my shower before getting the boy sorted even though he was awake 
• Giving the boy a breakfast cereal that I know contains sugar 
• Giving the baby toast again 
• Being late for playgroup
• Deciding to brush the baby’s teeth when we get home because we were running so late for playgroup 
• Not having the right money for playgroup so now owe it for next week. 
• Not having more money full stop. 
• Not working more hours to earn this money 
• Working at all when I could be at home with the boys
• Catching up with a friend for a few minutes while at playgroup and therefore not sitting and engaging with the boy 
• Making him wait for his squash at snack time because I hadn’t managed to get it while sorting out the food and now there is a queue
• Telling him off for whining in the car
• Giving them both cheese sandwiches for lunch
• Giving the boy some cheesy puffs with his lunch
• Not having any cucumber in the fridge 
• Not eating a healthier lunch as I’m still breastfeeding and never quite sure if I need to be eating better 
• Not playing with the baby after his nap (boy at preschool) because I was doing some work on the computer and then some blog stuff
• Giving the boy a little bag of Haribo when he arrives home
• Putting the TV on for them both 
• Not tending to the garden so now it’s all overgrown and the boys shoes are all wet from the grass
• Not buying a cover for the trampoline for the winter and now it’s all grimy
• Not taking the boy out on his bike more 
• Not cleaning up the outdoor toys I bought from Gumtree
• Not playing Playdoh with the boy as I wanted to get dinner sorted instead
• Going on Twitter on my phone
• Getting dinner sorted later than I planned because of going on Twitter
• Not being better at getting vegetables into the boy
• Letting the boy have an unhealthy pudding before his banana
• Nagging him to tidy up his toys 
• Spending too much time looking at phone
• Making him giggle at bedtime even though I know I need to wind him down so he goes to sleep quicker and doesn’t wake the baby
• Having a glass of wine with dinner

Right, I’m going to stop there. I feel quite exhausted writing all that down but it’s all true. I know I’m not the only one that feels constant mum guilt and I know it’s not healthy. And while I’m not sure if there will ever be a day I don’t torture myself this way, I guess the trick to lessening it is to try and change our thought processes. So for example, using the first four points in the list, here is how I could have viewed them: 

• Not getting up, washed and dressed prior to the boys being awake…. I was allowing myself some time to relax in bed before the chaos 
• Having my shower before getting the boy sorted even though he was awake… Getting myself sorted first so that I can concentrate on geting on with the day and supporting the boys fully 
• Giving the boy a cereal that I know contains sugar… He’s getting some food which also contains vitamins and there is calcium in the milk 
• Giving the baby toast again… he’s getting fed and he’s enjoying his breakfast

So although I can’t claim to have a hold on mum guilt, I do know that in the grand scheme of things the boys are OK and I’m doing OK. If our children are happy, loved and nourished then putting this level of pressure on ourselves is just not on is it? We owe ourselves a bit more than this, surely?